“Don’t leave any dried coconuts on top Subba. I don’t want even a single coconut falling from this damn tree tomorrow”. Eddie uncle was shouting on top of his voice, so that Subba, who was now perched at the top of a tall, bent coconut tree could hear. Subba, who heard Eddie uncle, nodded and swiftly shifted his position to a stronger branch, kicking it twice to check whether it could bear his weight.
Eddie uncle and Cecilia aunty had this routine of harvesting coconuts every month. Their house: in the midst of a sprawling piece of land actually is called “Palm Groves”. The pathways leading to the small cottage is lined up with coconut trees. The mathematician inside Eddie uncle, it seems used ropes, scales and other instruments to get the trees in line. Their coconut grove was huge with more than 500 trees and it was easily a half day job for Mabla and Subba, to climb every tree, and pluck dried ones.
Every month Eddie uncle grew richer by 4000 to 5000 coconuts and this yield gave a good boost to his existing bank balance. I was a crew member every month for this “Narl Kadche” event. Except for a few months during the monsoons, this was a monthly routine for Mabla, Subba and me. My role in this monthly event was a significant one. I was the collector- collector of the fallen nuts. Apart from this, I also had an additional responsibility of a safety officer. I had to ensure that Mabla and Subba dropped the coconuts only when the ground below was clear – clear off dogs, cats and most importantly school children.
As Mabla and Subba , ascended towards the rich bunch of coconuts, I scanned the ground, to a distance of 100 metres of either side of the tree. By now, the climbers would have already reached the top. I signalled to them if everything was clear “HAAAANNNN”. Down came the coconuts like bullets from a machine gun. As they hit the ground, some lazy nuts just rolled over to one side, some lucky ones hugged the moist ground, many hyperactive ones jumped over Mecchu bais wall and some over ambitious ones, even hid in Mecchu bai’s own pile of coconuts. Usually Cecilia aunty and Mecchu bai had fights over these rogue masquerading nuts. The best part of my job was to get down the narrow stream of water, to rescue some unfortunate nuts from the flow of water. It was usually good, but many a time, some dumb nuts found it difficult to roll and just got stuck in the marshy gooey mud -what we call Chikol. I had to get down into this and get those bastards out of their misery. One of the worst experiences was when Subba and Mabla used to cut the whole bunch. As the big bunch hit the ground, coconuts used to fly all over the place- sometimes smashing into the water valves and sometimes smashing into the battered body of Iqbalanna’s old tempo. It did not make any difference to the 1967 tempo, anyways.
I stood below the tree and once Mabla or Subba started to descend, my work of collecting coconuts and filling the daali (basket) would begin. The filled Daali was then helped onto Paddhu’s head , who then transported it to Eddie uncles vast courtyard, close to the house, so that he could keep an eye on the pile. For every 20 trees or so, Subba and Mabla quickly put a small piece of jaggery into their mouth and gulped down water, stored in a steel chembu. Wow. I have tried it I must say this is one of the most deadly combination of water with something. I am sure Eddie uncle too would agree, that this is better than his whiskey and water combination.
This whole process of plucking, collecting and transporting coconuts from the farm to the courtyard took a good 4 to 6 hours. After this, Eddie uncle and Cecilia aunty gave Subba, Mabla and Paddhu ,a well-deserved sumptuous breakfast from Kini maams hotel. I always had special access to Cecilia aunty’s kitchen .The nice generous couple they are, they had pez and nisthen for breakfast everyday. But Eddie uncle always brought one extra plate of whatever the climbers had, especially for me.
Breakfast break would last for half hour and knowing what a taskmaster Eddie uncle is, Subba and Mabla were always within their time limits and were present in the courtyard, even before Eddie uncle finished his breakfast. The counting began. The only sound one could hear was Subba and Mabla murmuring within their breaths and the only sight one could see was them standing upright for every hundred coconuts they had counted. They used to bend down forward, with wide spread legs, so that they could toss two coconuts at a time between their legs to the final resting place of the coconuts- which usually was next to the small water tank, where sunlight was at its best. The not so dried ones would also dehydrate here, under the sun. Eddie uncle kept aside one coconut for every hundred and finally added these back to the pile, carefully counting them.
This day’s count was 3878, which was poor as per Eddie uncle. Eddie uncle paid Subba and Mabla 200 rupees each and also gave them a generous 10 coconuts each. This was years ago and thinking back to where we are now, Subba and Mabla are the most sought after persons in the village. Their phones ring like crazy- not even Sridhar’s, (our hamlets first engineer who worked in Infosys) ,phone rang that much. Subba and Mabla now give out appointments. I remember very vividly Eddie uncle complaining about Subba the other day.
“You know Neil; you are studying the wrong things. Look at Subba. For every tree he climbs- whether he plucks any coconut or not, he charges 10 rupees. Imagine the money he is making. Coconuts are no longer profitable. Do you know he has a Kinetic Honda and his phone never stops ringing? Seriously, I need to talk to your dad and tell him to make you learn climbing trees”.
Looking at my academic results, I was sure my dad would gladly accept Eddie uncles suggestion. My total marks in 6 subjects had not crossed 35.
“Uncle, there are machines which can do this job. Subba and Mabla’s job can be done by you and me without any risk” I countered him. I did not want to become a tree climber. Anyways our conversation was cut short, when Subba himself zoomed past in his Kinetic, leaving us both staring at the exhaust.
Anyways, within a span of few years, Eddie uncle’s harvest has gone down from a few thousands to a few hundreds, because Subba and Mabla come only when they can and Eddie uncle relies on fallen nuts. He goes around the farm once a day and picks up coconuts and piles them at his courtyard. I was really sorry to see this, but as my exams came closer, I wished Eddie uncle had this conversation with my dad
